CHALLENGES OF MEN

Man is a very interesting creation of God. God has given him a will and authority. 

In the recent times however, man is increasingly becoming endangered and the 
place of authority that God had given him is threatened by the woman he is 
supposedly to head. Hence the need for man to understand that some of the
challenges we are talking about in this lesson are so crucial in his life.

Man is threatened in his physical presence, has emotional frustrations and his
spiritual maturity is also endangered. As a result, he gets into financial, sexual,
family and societal frustrations. This has led to him being a victim of circumstances
rather than a victor.

In our society, there has been a lot of emphasis on the girl-child, whereas the 
boy-child is almost completely ignored. We have very few role models amongst
men and very few mentors if any.

The boy-child is increasingly becoming irresponsible and cannot make right 
decisions. Hence the need to raise mentors and fathers among ourselves. 

The Church of Jesus Christ is not spared from this also. Our young men are
increasingly moving  away from the church and particularly when they have 
made some money or have acquired very good jobs.

To sort out this mess, we need to understand the three dimensions of Man
in his life.

Three Dimensions of Man in Life

1.Personality- This deals with his inclinations. This is true about him since
 birth: who we are, our motivation, temperaments, etc.

2. Ability- This deals with what instructions we have received in life. Ability
 is the total sum of our learnt experiences in life (from formal/ informal 
education and experiences in life).

3.Maturity- This deals with intimacy with God. This is the Spiritual 
dimension of our lives, our walk with God.

When Man combines the three dimensions he becomes effective and is able 
to handle challenges in life.

STAGES IN THE LIFE OF A MAN

The Kikuyu myth

Its said in a Kikuyu myth that the creator of heaven and earth created 3 creations namely man,

donkey and dog and each of them was given a life span of 30 years with the donkey and dog

under the authority of the man for that period. It is said while the man went on a journey the

donkey and the dog went back to the creator and suggested that their lives under the rulership

of man was too long and needed to be reduced. The creator asked how many years the donkey

and the dog wanted reduced and they both said 20 years. Hence, when the man came he was

given the whole matter by the creator and he was asked to comment on the same. The man

selfishly said that he should be added the 40 years from both the donkey and the dog. Hence

man acquired 70 years.

The lesson

From the 70 years allocated them to man, the first 30 years are termed Man-Years, the second

20 years from the donkey, are termed Donkey-Years, and the remaining 20 years from the dog

are termed Dog-Years.

i) TheMan-Years.

This is the period when a child is conceived in its mother’s womb to the period a

man is 30 years old. During this period, a man is directly dependent on the parents

for his upbringing, in supplication of his needs, character, development e.t.c. He

accepts to be modeled by his parents at the early stages but while he is schooling,

he gets peer pressure and his character could change. I would simply say he has no

control over his life. This is the period that he has to understand the environment

around him and seeks solution to a lot of suspicions. He gets to know there are

girls around him and he is sexually attracted to the opposite sex. He doesn’t know

how to handle a lot of issues in his life. This is the period he gets a career for his life

or his direction in life. He makes a lot of mistakes in his life. The decisions cause a

lot of havoc in his family. He wants to be independent while he still needs support

of the family.

He can make it from here or fail and become disastrous. He may marry after the

age of 22-30 or delay the same for his own reasons.

ii) The Donkey Years (31– 50 Years)

This is the most challenging period in the life of a man. Once the honeymoon of the

Man-Years is over, the man enters into a stage that determines whether he makes it

or losses it. He may have married or gets married, starts bringing a young family,

children are in school, some become teenagers, has a young wife who needs

attention, failure to which the marriage would be endangered. The family needs to

think of the future, starts investing while still trying to settle down. The man is

being challenged by the society to prove that he is worth so the man stretches

himself very much. He has to work very hard. He works just a donkey does,

sometimes with positive results and other times with lots of frustrations. He is

beaten here and there and it is very painful.

For those employed the demands are very high at work and pressure in the family is

high. Between 35 – 45, some of the men undergo a difficult time in their time as a

result of Mid-life Crisis. He is pushed by the society left and right. He either makes

it or breaks down. After 45 years of age, he is being threatened by his employer of

being retired early while the children are in school and need a lot of money to

educate them. He has to deliver otherwise the employer will replace him with a

younger, cheaper, energetic person.

He has to provide for the needs of those in the Man-Years in his family who are also

pushing him very much. By the time he is 50 years, he is already too tired and his

production curve starts going down.

iii) The Dog Years (51– 70Years)

This can be the most rewarding phase for a man if he made it in his Donkey Years or

it could be the period when he easily expires. Most men in our country are known

to have passed on 2 – 3 years after retiring from their formal employment because

they may not cope up with the pressures in life particularly of if they had not

organized well their lives well.

In this phase the children are now mature, they can make their independent

decisions some are in their Man-Years while others have started their Donkey-Years.

They can only consult you if they wanted or ignore you completely. You can only

‘bark’. This may be a period of reaping from the past. The children can mishandle

you if you mishandled them while they were growing.

It is also a sweet period when you see your grand children being born and brought up and

also visiting you.

It is the time that sexually you are not that active. Things move rather slowly. It is also the

time that you need the moral support of each other more. This is the period that diseases

and illnesses are frequent. It can be a very trying moment too. Most men are left lonely

while the children have nice times with their mama. The mama keeps on visiting her children

to see the grandchildren while the Mzee is left lonely at home.

iv) Bonus Years (>70 Years)

If God gives you more than 70 years of living, then these are bonus years but they can be

painful years.

CONCLUSION

After learning the above phases, I feel that we need to agree with Paul when he said “Have this

mind that was in Christ .. ” We need to do the right things at the right

time failure to which, frustrations set in. for example if you married at 45 years of age, you

will bring up your first born during the Dog-Years and also extend to the Bonus Years. It

becomes difficult for you and the child too.

Do the right thing at the right time. In this aspect the great challenge is then organizing

your life well. Prov 16: 1-2 “We can make our plans but the final outcome is in God’s

hands.... Other things don’t make up to 100%, it is only ATTITUDE that makes up to 100%