Being a father is costly. You must be prepared to carry the entire cross all the way. I am a disappointed father. When I see the number of children being raised up by single mothers, possibly because the fathers ran away of whatever happened, it hurts me.
You must be prepared to do all that it takes for you to be a good father and be there for your family. It is a joy for me to look back and appreciate my role of fatherhood in my family. A father is a:
Protector - This role encompasses our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual protection. Children need protection, and need to have their values, purities, and honor protected into adulthood. A father not only protects his children from harm, but protects their hearts and minds as well.
Provider - This is perhaps one of our more instinctual roles of a father. A father initially provides necessities. He also creates an environment for growth through love and encouragement. Fathers provide all that is needed in the home.
Counselor - A father is a guide. He directs his children toward the path in life that promises to fit them best. A father who has his child's best interest in mind will gain the trust of his child as a counselor.
Friend - It is said that a child learns how to interact with others on the lap of a father. A healthy friendship with a father gives the boundaries and help understand what is safe and what is not.
The costs of being a father:
1. Forgetting your personal agenda- Fathers give up their personal desires for the good of others.
2. Have limited control- What you control, you limit. Fathers give freedom and flexibility to others particularly the mothers of their children. You have very little control in the spending at home.
3. Popularity diminishes- Leading well is no guarantee that a father will be popular. The mother takes the lead. She is more at home but you are needed for the provision. Your orders and rules are seen as autocratic. When you want to bring change, it is almost never initially popular.
4. Comfort is almost forgotten- While the children are small, the home is normally a place of little comfort. You get to wrestle with messiness and awkwardness and push through conflict and difficulty. It is for a noble purpose, but it isn’t easy.
5. Fear of the unknown is eminent.-Life is becoming more and more challenging and expensive. You must still remain a father and husband even when the future is unknown. You have no control of the future so you live with fear. That’s often scary. Even the best fathers are anxious at times about what is next.
6. You will experience loneliness- I believe every father experiences loneliness in one way or the other. We should be vulnerable enough to let others speak into our lives. But there will be days when a father has to stand alone. Others won’t immediately understand.
7. Outcomes may frustrate you- Expected outcomes may sometimes not be achieved. You will be frustrated by the children as they grow up. Your family may not follow your worthy visions. Your measurable goals and objectives may not be achieved.
Finally
As fathers, are we willing to pay the price for being fathers? It’s not cheap!
If your father failed you, then you will be searching to compensate for that deficiency in other relationships.
If your father failed to give you a good model, then you will have to work hard to compensate for that poor modeling as you raise your own children. We tend to do what we've seen modeled.
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