I have talked to many women in our city of Nairobi, Kenya on this subject. It appears that many feel that men are not necessary in the homes. The men have only been used as tools for siring the babies. This particularly is affecting many of them below ages 45 in my observation. When the children are small, the mothers are very comfortable to bring them up without knowing that by the time these young ones are teens and young adults, they need a man to be there for them. With all due respect to our women and the role they are playing in bringing these kids, there is a part of a man that these kids miss.
Our world has greatly changed. By the end of the last century many of our societies decided that dads are not necessary, that they are expendable. Dads are not expendable. Dads are necessary. For thousands of years, dads have been the protector of the home. Dads get up every day and go to work so that there will be food on the table. They work at boring and even dangerous jobs so they can provide for their family. Dads are protectors in every sense of the word. Dads provide a solid foundation for the home. They provide security and tranquility. Dads are not perfect, but they are called by God to be an integral part of the family. The mums are needed to give support to the dads.
In most of our home in our country Kenya, dads are absent and the children are suffering for it in one or the other. Pediatricians are finding that when there are no fathers in the home, there is a dramatic increase in children with attention deficit, hyperactivity, learning disabilities, and depression.
1. When dads are home, children have better self esteem and exhibit pro-social behavior
compared to homes where there are no dads.
2. When dads are home, the family is five times less likely to live in poverty.
3. When dads are home, children do better in math and reading skills compared to when there is no dad.
4. When dads are home, the children are significantly less likely to do drugs or engage in risky behavior.
5. When dads are home, the rate of child abuse is fifty per cent less than in single-parent households.
6. When dads are home, the sons who grow up in those homes are more disciplined than where mothers bring up the sons.
7. When dads are home, daughters that receive the love and attention of a father are much less likely to search for that same attention from men who are far less worthy.
Dads, you are important even when you are not perfect, which you are not. There is something comforting and secure for children who know that dad is around. Dad provides a solid foundation for their lives. When daddy is at home there is all reassuring because all is well in the house.
From a biblical stand point, I would like to share with you God’s charge to every father to be a watchman for his home. We find the story in the book of Nehemiah. Nehemiah and the remnant come home to Jerusalem. They find the entire city lying in total ruins. The walls were torn down and the gates removed. That meant that any invading enemy would be able to come in and plunder them. That is the way we find our country today. The walls of protection and the gates designed to protect us are lying in ruin. We are finding ourselves much like Nehemiah found Jerusalem.
Look with me at what Nehemiah says in Nehemiah 9:36-37:
“And here we are, slaves again today; and here's the land you gave our ancestors So they could eat well and enjoy a good life, and now look at us--no better than slaves on this land. Its wonderful crops go to the kings you put over us because of our sins; They act like they own our bodies and do whatever they like with our cattle. We're in deep trouble”.(MSG)
“Nehemiah laments that because of their own sins, their enemies have control over every area of their lives. He says, “We are at their pleasure, and we are in great distress.”
What a picture this is of the world we live in today! Because of our own sins, the society we have is being torn apart. We have distanced ourselves from the God of the Bible and brought in modernism and feel that God is not important, that attending church is legalistic, and that dads are not necessary.
What did God lead Nehemiah to do? He rolled up his sleeves and began to work diligently at rebuilding the walls and replacing the gates. It was hard work, it was spiritual work, but it was necessary. It is necessary today also. Step by step, stone by stone, we must rebuild the fabric of our families based on God’s word.
Once the walls were rebuilt and the gates replaced, God told Nehemiah to appoint gatekeepers who knew what people could or could not be allowed in. Gatekeepers were not strictly priests. They were people from every walk of life who cared about their families’ safety. The charge given in Nehemiah 7:1-3 is a charge to the parents of today’s children. It is a command that should awaken us out of our selfish lifestyle and remind us of why we are here.
Let us read it carefully, Nehemiah 7:1-3:
“After the wall was rebuilt and I had installed the doors, and the security guards, the singers, and the Levites were appointed, I put my brother Hanani, along with Hananiah the captain of the citadel, in charge of Jerusalem because he was an honest man and feared God more than most men. I gave them this order: "Don't open the gates of Jerusalem until the sun is up. And shut and bar the gates while the guards are still on duty. Appoint the guards from the citizens of Jerusalem and assign them to posts in front of their own homes."(MSG)
God gave the charge to Nehemiah to tell the people not only to have a gatekeeper at his station by the gates but also to have one at the entrance to every house. God was clearly declaring that there was to be a gatekeeper that was responsible for his own household. In other words, God wanted to make sure that someone was in charge of not only who came into the city, but also who entered each home. God appointed a gatekeeper at each household.
Parents, you are the gatekeepers of your home. Dads, you are given the primary responsibility for who and what enters your home. Parents, both of you are given charge to guard your home from every demonic enemy that tries to enter. Every book, every CD/DVD, every friend your child brings home, every TV program, every Internet site, and every video is the responsibility of the gatekeepers of that household. Satan has many subtle and clever ways of coming into your home. You need God’s wisdom and discernment to be a wise gatekeeper. If you are a single parent here today, I want you to know that God is with you and for you, not against you. You have a difficult job being both mum and dad. God knows the job is difficult, and He will help you. The charge remains the same. You are the guardian, or gatekeeper, for your home. Although it is a job designed for two people, God will help you and strengthen you with His grace and mercy.
Today we need more parents, more dads, to step up and become gatekeepers for their homes. What good will it do if you have given your family every monetary gift but have not been a diligent gatekeeper? What good will it do if you work long, hard hours at work to provide a nice home, but that home is filled with the devil’s tools? The greatest gift you can give to your children and to your wife is to give them your complete commitment to be there always for them and with them.
If you have not noticed, the gates of the city have changed in the last several years. The church, the family, and the spiritual leaders of a community used to be the primary way the culture was influenced. But today the influences upon what people think and do come from seven sources. These sources are the following:
1. The doings of the society and neighbors
2. Friends and peers
3. Movies
4. Television
5. Music
6. Family
7. Books
8. Law
9. The Internet
Our children are easily influenced by the above and without the guidance of the dads, then, there is very little hope. We have to take our God given responsibility and lead our homes.
Because the church has compromised its ways, it has lost its place of influence to a great degree. The church must relearn how to come back to its God-ordained position of biblical faith and family-driven influence. Today more than ever, we need to see the family and the church as the way to establish the gatekeepers of our community. I would like to challenge every man to become a godly gatekeeper of his home.
If you have a wayward child, I would encourage you to claim Isaiah 44:1-5 for your children.
"But for now, dear servant Jacob, listen-- yes, you, Israel, my personal choice. GOD who made you has something to say to you; the God who formed you in the womb wants to help you. Don't be afraid, dear servant Jacob, Jeshurun, the one I chose. For I will pour water on the thirsty ground and send streams coursing through the parched earth. I will pour my Spirit into your descendants and my blessing on your children. They shall sprout like grass on the prairie, like willows alongside creeks. This one will say, "I am GOD's,' and another will go by the name Jacob; That one will write on his hand "GOD's property'-- and be proud to be called Israel."(MSG)
1. Commit yourself to be a diligent and wise gatekeeper for your home.
2. Commit yourself to protect your home from every demonic influence.
3. Commit yourself to pray for your family daily for God’s protection and safety.
4. Dads and Mums, give your children what they need and want most. Give them your time, your love, and your attention.
Let’s join hands in standing and praying for God to help us to be godly gatekeepers of our homes. Even if you have a home of one, you must be a godly gatekeeper, keeping out every evil influence and protecting your heart from Satan’s lies.
I believe you have a very big responsibility as a dad but you also have the capacity to fulfill the same. Don’t give up as I have seen some men giving up when the children high schools. Go all the way and in old age you will be grateful to God as you see your children do great thing and are responsible. The onus is on you and I believe you will do something about it. Yes, there is the necessity of dads in today’s world.
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