THE 7As in SELF ESTEEM

Psalm 139:13-14

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (NIV)  

One’s self-esteem makes him look at or handle matters in life positively or negatively.

Self esteem reflects a person's overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self. Your own self esteem is so intricately woven into who you are that it literally controls your thoughts, which in turn, controls your actions. We are always in the process of either gaining or losing self esteem. 

Hence below are the 7As I think that are very useful as we look at our self esteem

1.      Self-Awareness. Do you understand yourself? Look at your life and learn who you are. Why do you do certain things in life?

2.      Self-Acceptance. Fully accept yourself. If you live in denial, your self-esteem will always be eroded. When you accept yourself, you can then do something about it.

3.      Self-Assertiveness. Speak up, be firm and develop a sense of control over your life. Paying close attention to acknowledging what you have control over and what you cannot control.

4.      Self-Adaptation. Once you have understood yourself well, you can adapt yourself to the environment that you are in. Don’t allow the circumstances to dictate on you. You are uniquely created by God. Note that you are very important and there is nobody like you.

5.      Self- Appreciation. Since you are very important, you have to fully appreciate that. Don’t be put off by issues that you are going to face in life. Appreciate all the abilities that you have.

6.      Self- Adjustment. Don’t be static. Learn new skills and lessons in life and adjust accordingly without undue pressure from anyone.

7.      Self-Assessment. Do an evaluation of yourself in all areas of yourself. This will make you love yourself the more. 

The following are very important to improving your self-esteem

1.      Self-integrity. Learn what is true and live accordingly and determine the best decisions for yourself.

2.      Stop negative self talk. Self talk is the ongoing conversation you have with yourself. Every time you hear yourself saying and affirming negative stuff about yourself to yourself, STOP IT. Don't let one more negative thing about you get planted in your mind.

3.      Say positive things to yourself every single day. Every morning and every night make it a point to say nothing but positive, self esteem building stuff to you. You will be amazed how much better you will feel about yourself and your life.

4.      Stop inflicting negative talk on other people. Every time you say something negative to someone else, if will affect you to. STOP IT. Don't be responsible for filling someone else with negative talk. Showing patience, gentleness, and kindness will go a long ways toward building up the self esteem in someone else.

5.      Don't let yourself get caught up in tearing others down behind their backs. Some of the worst things you can do are gossip, tell negative stories about others, or break the confidence of someone who placed their trust in you. When people find out what you said about them it can be a devastating blow to their self esteem because they believe what they hear, whether it's true or not.

6.      SET the example of right behavior to others. Don't just tell them; show them by building other people up on purpose. Look for positive things to say by using God's Word as a guide. Self esteem improvement in others will only come if you help the process every chance you get.

Change your heart by changing your self esteem. You can lead a better life if you change your self esteem. Look at life positively. See the goodness in all that you do. Love and appreciate people. They are the greatest resources that we have.

A Season of Crisis is NOT Permanent

Change never seems natural. We naturally repel it and often want to retreat back into our comfort zone. There is all the resistance to change. When then there is a crisis you must equip yourself for change or be overcome by the change. Every man must prepare himself to handle crisis.

Covid-19 has totally changed what we used to know as normal way of doing things. Men were not used to staying at home. They are indeed forced by circumstances to stay. Responsibilities have not changed and the demand for the family is still the same. These are challenging moments which require doing things differently. In my entire life, I have never stayed for 5 months at home doing very little.

A wise man once said that there is a season for everything under the sun - even when we can’t see the sun. Seasons are part of life just like day and night or winter and summer. Seasons of crisis, for instance the current Covid-19 pandemic, come to necessitate change. Crises are not permanent but the question is: How do we overcome such a season of crisis?

Crises come in our lives in one way or the other. We must have lessons learnt in all moments when we have crises. It is tough going through them but it is said that ‘when going becomes tough, the tough get going.’

Lessons that I have learnt over the period of crisis

Nothing remains the same. Seasons come and go. Seasons are very temporary. For those currently earning a percentage of their salary or no salary at all in different organizations, this is a situation that will not remain the same.

Seasons guarantee change. A crisis can build brand new markets, remove the old and welcome the new and change the way of doing things. The change could be new innovations, bigger businesses, change of cultures, believes or behaviour change.

Crisis gives hope for tomorrow. When it is too dark, light is soon on its way. When you are jobless, you hope for a job soon. When temporary out of cash, you hope for hay days. Learn to do things differently.

A crisis season is transient. The beauty about it is that days and weeks are moving. Soon, the crisis season will be over. We should not panic too quickly. We need to stand still, think and innovate.

Every man ought to adjust his ways of doing things. I love saying that “Ukila yote utajuta baadaye” meaning that don’t spend all the income that you are getting as you will regret in the future. Keep something aside for the rainy day.

A season of crisis gives incentives to plan for the future. The crisis phase come and go and we must plan for the next phase. The future is more promising than the present.

Never respond permanently to a temporarily problem. Suicide, for example, is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. We can do better than committing suicide, giving up, or doing something that we might regret soon after the tough days are gone.

Keep a positive eye on opportunities brought by a crisis. See the opportunities created during a crisis and seize them if you can. Look at the bigger picture and position yourself approximately. I always get impressed by the young people selling face masks in the streets. This is an opportunity that has come.

Always be ready for other opportunities that arise when a crisis comes. Many more will come in one way or the other. BE THE MAN TO FACE THEM. Never give up.

You Must Make Important Changes in Your Life

Life seems to have taken great impact for many of us. Things are not as normal as they were before. There is need for a lot of adjustments to the extent that we must make changes that will take us to the next level. You must make important changes in your life and it is far better that you approach these situations with commitment and an intention to be successful with the changes. These can be stressful times but with the right mindset, you can make important changes in your life with relative ease and comfort.

Change, although usually seen as stressful, can actually help you get over some hurdles and move ahead with your life. In other words, where the status quo is unacceptable, there is little choice; you absolutely must make changes in your life. Yet, instituting change can be quite challenging.

When you want to make important changes in your life, you must stay focused and reduce the stress and anxiety that you experience along the way.

You must be specific about the important changes you want to make in your life

Write down in a sentence or two what change you seek. Be as specific as possible about what you indeed want to achieve. The clearer you are about what you want, the easier it is for you to find what you are looking for.

What are reasons for the change?

Being aware of your reasons for change will deepen your understanding of yourself and what you wish for your future. Also, when you make important changes in your life, there will be times when you struggle and you may even feel like giving up. However, understanding your reasons for making the changes and, how you will benefit from the change is essential.

What options do you have to bring on the change?

There are many different ways in which you can make important changes in your life. Before you rush into action, take a little time to review your options. You can then review all options, assessing the pros and the cons. You can always make adjustments as you go along.

Focus on making one change at a time

Concentrate your energies on only one task. This will increase your chances of being successful. And, when you see that you can achieve one change, you’ll gain confidence in making other changes.

Use your confidence

Gather your self-assurance and ignite your efforts to begin making changes. Start with small actions and with each success, your confidence and self-belief will grow.

Use positive self-talk

You cannot eliminate all negative talk but you can increase your positive thoughts by making the effort to speak positively to yourself. Tell yourself that you know you can successfully make the changes. Reassure yourself that you have the necessary skills and strengths to succeed.

Discuss your wishes with anyone who is impacted

If others are going to be impacted when you make important changes in your life, you should let them know at the earliest opportunity. When you tell the people you respect that you are going to make changes, they will hold you accountable. This will give you extra motivation.

Refuse any discouragements

When you make important changes in your life, there will usually be some people who disagree with you. Listen carefully to the opinions of those whom you love and trust. Then, proceed ahead on your well-planned course, taking their ideas into consideration if you found them useful.

Find a great mentor

It’s wonderful to have direct contact with someone who’s done what you’re striving to do. You can ask questions and learn from their experiences. By having an idea of what lies ahead, you will be better able to cope with both the good times and the bad. The important thing is that you learn from the wisdom of someone who has already walked in your shoes.

Finally

Making important changes in your life can be stressful but if done for the right reasons, it will be very rewarding once completed. By making some adjustments here and there, you can move closer toward your goals in life with greater passion and confidence. It is the pursuit and achievement of your goals that brings the greatest joy to your life. If you want to improve your situation, you must make important changes in your life.

Men Must Learn to Adjust

Man carries a great responsibility wherever he is. With the Covid-19 with us, this has greatly affected men. It has brought lots of disruption from the routine we used to have. Hence as men we need to adjust our way of doing things and our overall attitude in life.

Due to disrupted livelihoods and the ability to provide we must learn to handle the overall challenge as men. This is the moment to show yourself as a man. 1Kings 2:2 “As for me, I am going the way of all of the earth. Be strong and be courageous like a man.

Our jobs are at stake, businesses have suffered losses and some have closed. Most men are concerned about their ability to provide and take care of their loved ones.

Due to the pandemic relationships have been affected. Men who used to leave home very early in the morning and come back home late have difficulties relating with their spouses and children. They were not used to this life style and the freedom in the house has been curtailed by the man being around. He has to learn to adjust. By isolating men from some core and key relationships whose contacts fueled them emotionally and socially, their sense of cohesiveness is lost. Colleagues, friends, fans, customers and some family are no longer accessible.

Men are being forced to have to learn to work and live under new circumstances. Those working from home do not enjoy working because of the many disruptions particularly from their young kids.

I also noted that due to the reduced salaries or incomes, some have been unable to pay their rents. Others have been forced to go to small houses or moved to other places where rents are lower. This has also affected their families. But adjustments have to be made. The man must take the lead.

Confining men in low-aggression environments is a major challenge. Aggression and challenge are a key factor in drawing out male performance. It’s important for men to have a constant push and pull to compete and win. Having to work from home does not draw that out. It pushes it down, and motivation becomes a challenge.

Men are affected by exposing them to high and sensitive emotional environments for extended periods. Spending time at home is emotionally draining for men because male brains have a much lower capacity for the constant, inward looking emotional space that’s the home.

There is so much worry and anxiety that comes with uncertainty that tends to pile on especially when we both are in trouble, and when we can’t see our options clearly. We are affected much by having poor sleep, tension, heart issues, digestion, loss of sex drive and muscular pain.

Some men are feeling completely affected by a sense of hopelessness and despair. Especially people in already tough circumstances. Outbursts of anger, frustration and pain usually is taken out on those closest and weakest among us. So domestic violence and abuse is on the increase.

Apathy and an unwillingness to do anything is on the rise because life seems meaningless. Some have given up and committed suicide and some have run away from their homes.

We need to adjust with the times. Though times are tough, the tough get going. Maintain contact with other men especially older father figures. Reach out to the significant men in your life, but also be there for men who look up and need you. Do physical exercises and lots of walking. Make a choice to exercise and keep your body and mind healthy.

Make future plans that will help you adjust accordingly. Think the future. Have the big picture. The future will come whether we are ready or not, our responsibility is to keep leading. You cannot abdicate your leadership role, so make a plan nonetheless, and have those close to you help you do it, but make a Post-pandemic plan to move ahead. For most men, it’s a plan that just might get you out of a depressive state.

Finally

What lessons have we learnt from the pandemic? We need to adjust in such a way as to get our feet back on track. There is always hope. Never give up. There are many things we were doing that were draining our resources and not adding value to our lives. Make an about turn and seek to look for opportunities that will change your life and those that are close to you. You are important and that you will make it. The key word is ADJUST.

It is Important to Make Changes in Your Life

We are living in extra ordinary times in our lives. What we knew as normal living is no longer normal. We have to take extra ordinary measures to safe guard our health. Moving from one place to another is now restrained. Our businesses, jobs, schools, places of worship, social gatherings, travels, get-togethers, have all been affected. We need to make changes in our lives.

The world is in a constant state of change. It always has been but since the advent of technology, it seems that change comes more frequently. While you may be able to avoid change for a short while; avoidance is never an effective long-term solution. There will be times when you must make changes in your life and it is far better that you approach these situations with commitment and an intention to be successful with the changes. These can be stressful times but with the right mindset, you can make changes in your life with relative ease and comfort.

It is important that you remember that there is a reason why you must make changes in your life. Change, although usually seen as stressful, can actually help you get over some hurdles and move ahead with your life.

How to make changes in your life

1. What specific changes do you want to make in your life?

Write down in a sentence or two what change you seek. Be as specific as possible. The clearer you are about what you want, the easier it is for you to find what you are looking for.

2. Understand the change you want

Being aware of your reasons for change will deepen your understanding of yourself and what you wish for your future. Also, when you make changes in your life, there will be times when you struggle and you may even feel like giving up. However, understanding your reasons for making the changes and, how you will benefit from the change is essential.

3. Look at the options on how to bring on the change

There are many different ways in which you can make changes in your life. Before you rush into action, take a little time to review your options. You can always make adjustments as you go along.

4. Focus on making one change at a time

If you attempt to make numerous changes in your life at the same time, you will be confused, stressed and anxious. Concentrate all your energies on one task. This will increase your chances of being successful. And, when you see that you can achieve one change, you’ll gain confidence in making other changes.

5. Use all confidence you have

Gather your self-assurance and ignite your efforts to begin making changes. Start with small actions and with each success, your confidence and self-belief will grow.

6. The necessity of positive self-talk

Tell yourself that you can do it. You can increase your positive thoughts by making the effort to speak positively to yourself. Tell yourself that you know you can successfully make the changes.

7. Discuss your wishes with anyone who is impacted

If others are going to be impacted when you make important changes in your life, you should let them know at the earliest opportunity. Not only is this the honest approach but you are likely to find some people who will support you along the way. The support you get from others could be just what you need to carry you across the finish line.

8. Don’t allow discouragement from others.

When you make changes in your life, there will usually be some people who disagree with you. Some of them may actively work against you as you try to make the changes. By all means, listen carefully to the opinions of those whom you love and trust. Then, proceed ahead on your well-planned course, taking their ideas into consideration if you found them useful.

9. You need a mentor

It’s wonderful to have direct contact with someone who’s done what you’re striving to do. You can ask questions and learn from their experiences. This will help you to avoid many problems and also to accept some of the challenges and obstacles that you will meet along the way. By having an idea of what lies ahead, you will be better able to cope with both the good times and the bad.

Finally

Making changes in your life can be stressful but if done for the right reasons, it will be very rewarding once completed. When you discover that you can create the life you deserve by making some adjustments here and there, you can move closer toward your goals in life with greater passion and confidence. It is the pursuit and achievement of your goals that brings the greatest joy to your life. If you want to improve your situation, you must make changes in your life.

Learn to live and adjust with the changing times. It is said that: “When times are tough, the tough getting going”. You can’t sit and expect the same lifestyle. Learn to make the necessary changes needed.

LIFE CHALLENGES ARE INEVITABLE

We are all candidates of life challenges

1 Corinthians 10:13: No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. (NIV)

Life is full of challenges and surprises too. Challenges in life come, and they can be used to your advantage. Each one is an opportunity for personal growth and self-improvement. Ultimately, the goal is to use what you learn as you grow to become the best version of yourself. All of us face life challenges in different dimensions. Some are more serious than others but must be faced. How we handle these struggles on a daily basis determines our physical, as well as our mental well-being. It takes only a single event to convince us we have no control over our circumstances. Sometimes these challenges consume us with guilt, panic attacks, chronic fatigue, resources, relationships, and can bring lots of frustrations in our lives. Our problems pressure us from every side, threatening to crush or break us.

Surprisingly, all life challenges have a direct relationship in defining our purpose in life. If only we could find assurance that there was a plan or reason for the difficulties we face. Life challenges enable us to see ourselves at our best and our worst. We may attempt to temporarily escape our circumstances, falling into all known behaviours trying to run away from the challenges. Sometimes even extending to some opting to take away their lives.

We face our greatest life challenges when we struggle to find love, security, and assurance that life truly has meaning. Our fears, unhealthy behaviors, and excessive emotional struggles result from our inability to interpret and correctly cope with our circumstances and feelings. Sometimes it is possible to move beyond that place of hopelessness.
When we develop a personal relationship with the One who created us, we discover how God wants us to respond in any given situation. If you are facing difficult decision, trust Him to provide the comfort, strength, and wisdom you need in order to continue toward your goal. By placing our faith in God, we take our hands off our problems. God gave us His Son, Jesus Christ, to reach beyond time, life’s challenges, and even death to save us.

Isaiah 43:1-2: But now, this is what the LORD says-- he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. (NIV)

Psalms 18:1-2: “I love you, Lord; you are my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the strength of my salvation, and my stronghold”

Life is full of opportunities and challenges. We can meet these challenges and still live life abundantly. Tough times never last, but tough people do. Tough people who survive do so because they have learnt to reach positively to their predicaments. They don’t give up. They manage their problems creatively and constructively and finally they succeed.

When life getters harder, challenge yourself to be stronger. Challenges are temporary and not permanent. They have a time frame. Life challenges are what make life interesting. When we overcome them, then we find their meaning. Sometimes they come to harden us and make us better people.

TAKE UP YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

It is very unfortunate to see the trend of happenings in our society. Ownership of actions by people is a rare virtue nowadays. Women have suffered at the hands of men who refused to take up the responsibilities of their actions. Some men have left their families to go after young women. Children and women are the major people that are hurting.

Responsibility is…

• Doing what I know I ought to do.
• Doing willingly and to the best of my ability what I ought to do
• Accepting the responsibility for your choices and actions
• Being “countable” i.e. you can be “counted on” to fulfill your word.
• Being dependable and accurate for your words and actions.
• Being in charge of our choices
• Responding positively to expectations.

Responsible men are motivated by two things:

A. A desire to be trusted.

They are willing to prove themselves as trustworthy. If you desire to be trusted, you will be responsible. You will ensure that you are “countable”; that others can count on you.

B. The feeling of achievement.

This comes when you know that you have done the right thing and completely fulfilled your responsibility. This is very important to married men.

Responsible men:

1. Make a commitment to be a person who is responsible.

This commitment will show when you fail. Will you take responsibility for your failure or offer excuses?

2. Do whatever it takes!

Do whatever it takes to do what you are responsible for.

3. Have a system for getting things done.

Be responsible and develop a system that will enable you to get everything done that you need to do.

4. Delegate but don’t avoid responsibility.

If you delegate, follow! Be responsible. If you are able to delegate you must be able to follow up as well. Follow the other person before you are followed! You are responsible.

Responsibility is demanded in the following areas:

1. In being true to our word

In Psalms 15:4-5 “4. In whose eyes a vile person is despised, but he honors those who fear the Lord; he who swears to his own hurt and does not change; 5. He who does not put out his money at usury, nor does he take a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things shall never be moved.”

God expects us to be personally responsible in our financial dealings. This will mean being true to our word even if it hurts us financially.

2. In being diligent

We are called to be diligent. To be diligent means to do the things that need to be done rather than putting it off for another day. It means doing what needs to be done rather than figuring out how to avoid doing it. Being diligent is a learned way of life. It is usually taught to us by our parents by our watching their example and hearing their words. We can choose to do the right things regardless of what our parents did.

3. In displaying character

Character means we have integrity in our choices. Displaying character means being honest, not taking advantage of others, having patience, and showing mercy at the appropriate times.

4. In accepting consequences

We live in a society at a time when no one wants to accept the consequences of his or her actions. As soon as someone feels the sting of consequences, he or she immediately looks for someone else to blame. People continue to go round and round, making the same mistakes over and over because they refuse to accept the consequences for their own actions. They want to blame someone else.

When we refuse to accept the consequences of our own actions, we hurt only ourselves. Personal responsibility starts with accepting we have failed. Others influence us, but we make the choice and we are responsible.

Countless people continue to be unsuccessful in life because they have never learned to accept responsibility for their actions. They go through life blaming others for all their problems and can never seem to move forward.

Finally

One of the keys to having a successful life is being willing to take responsibility for every aspect of our lives. In today’s world, more and more people are believing the lie that someone else is responsible for them. God’s word teaches that He holds us accountable for the choices we make. Others influence us, but we are responsible for our actions.

Men who don't take responsibility for their work or actions are likely to have a negative impact on their families and society. They will look for apathy, finger pointing, missed deadlines, and avoid accountability.

We must be willing to do all that we ought to do and do our rightful responsibilities in our lives. If our families are hurting, we will also hurt. Excuses usually give us a clue that irresponsibility is at work.

EVERY MAN MUST WORK AT KNOWING HIMSELF

While our experiences clearly helped shape us into the people we are today, this does not mean that we necessarily know who we really are—what we are passionate about and what we want from life.

Since we were tiny, we’ve developed beliefs and values, some good and some not so good, as a result of our environment and the pressure from society to conform.  Most people think that achievements would make them feel better, which is not necessarily true.

Who am I? What am I working toward? What is my identity to attach itself to?

Take time out to really understand and learn about yourself. Through struggles, identify and always work toward your goals.

Consciously make an effort to find out what it is YOU really want by taking the time to listen to yourself.

Here are some thoughts to consider that continue to help us in this journey and hopefully might be helpful to you:

1. Realize that you do not have to justify your worth.The truth is that everyone is  worthy of love, respect, and kindness.

2. Take time to try different things to figure out what you enjoy.

3. Let go of expectations. Accept things for what they are, without feeling like your whole world was crumbling before you.

4. Look after yourself.When you’re finding things tough and questioning who you are and where you’re going, it’s important to take some time out to practice a bit of self-care. 

5. Never overrated yourself. Under that you are unique and nobody is like you. You are special. Be yourself and you’ll attract authentic friendships into your life. BE YOU.

6. Remember that your life is not set in stone. Life is full of opportunities. Any time spent regretting missed ones allows less time to enjoy the opportunities that are presenting themselves right now!

Knowing yourself allows you to explore and exploit the potential that you have. 

Sources of Problems among the Young Men in our Society

Who is to blame? Do we really understand what is affecting our young people in society? There is the peer pressure which we all understand but there is the social pressure which is indeed a major cause of the problems the youth are facing.

To say that the youth in our nation face many problems is not to reveal anything new. Every generation of youth has faced problems. Everywhere we see the young confused, frustrated, involved in riots, rebellion against authority, steeped in crime and the age is characterized by suicide.

Those who have the responsibility of caring for the young are often guilty of sinning against the very ones for whom they have the watch care. A child is not born into the world wicked, evil and delinquent. He learns to be that way. He is taught to become that way. It does not come from within himself.

Experience with young people over the past many years convinces me that many are fine, strong, serious and well-intentioned Christians. True, even some of these are misled by others into ways that are not for the child of God. But there are those who shall stand for the faith as much as any adult.

We who are older need to consider more closely the problems of the young and work for them and with them to overcome them rather than simply hope that everything will work out all right.

Let’s locate some of the present day sources of problems affecting the young people.

1. The Home

The number one source of youth’s problems is the home. Where there ought to be security, love, provision, guidance, standards, discipline, hope and example, there is often just the opposite. The proverb, “Train up a child in the way that he should go," is primarily directed to parents. “Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord,” is the medicine needed (Ephesians 6:4). Parents are too busy making money, reliving their own youth, and having a good time to be parents.

Children learn disrespect for authority in the home. It carries into the school, against government, against God.

2. Parents

It is rather difficult for a child to grow up with stability when the two people the child loves most hate and despise each other, and show it. Children that come from divided homes suffer all kinds of maladjustment, unhappiness, confusion, insecurity, and build resentment and frustration.

3. The Media

There is no doubt the harmful effects of radio and television has on the youth. Freedom of the press has been so abused as to include every kind of glamorization of sin. Pornography has become a present-day rage. The movies appeal to the young with all manner of vile and corrupt pictures. The addiction to television has about destroyed the thinking capacity of many people. What we think comes more from what we see than any other one source. “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”

4. Schools

Problems are caused for the young by the schools. While many can credit their teachers with a large measure of their personal success, many others can credit their teachers with their problems also. Morality is scorned, drug use is prominent, peer pressure is detrimental, and so often the social events are designed to promote the worldliness that the Scripture condemns, such as drinking, dancing, lasciviousness, etc.

5. Churches

The churches have become worldly and the world has become churchy. But where you would expect to find solutions to the problems facing the young, you often find another source of problems. Men have loved their churches, creeds, doctrines, power, money, etc. more than the revealed will of God.

6. The Government

The government must assume some blame for the problems of the youth. The ambitious and unscrupulous politicians have so fouled up much of the business of the nation that the young are “turned off” from being responsible citizens. The greed, graft, and personal gain of the nation’s leaders have set a terrible example before the young. Power, popularity, and profit have dominated the careers of governmental leaders.

7. Permissiveness and Tolerance

It is the responsibility of Christian parents to make sure that their young people know the difference between these sinful ways of the world and the way of Christ. Permissiveness and tolerance toward such things is going to cause many young people to degrade themselves and so stain their hearts and lives that only hell can burn away their evil.

Finally

Problems, problems, problems everywhere in our nation. Indeed problems. Distressing to consider them, isn’t it? Young people need the love, guidance, training, discipline and security that those who are older are obligated to provide. Once given those things it is up to them to walk accordingly. It is not enough to simply tell the young, “Don’t, don’t, don’t.” There must be the provision for the good that they can and should do. The problems are too big for the inexperienced and untrained youth to handle alone. Be a “solution,” not a “source” of problems. Yes you can do something. The onus is on you. THAT IS WHY YOU ARE A MAN.

SETTING YOUR PRIORITIES

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8(NIV) A Time for Everything

3 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

We all know that the best things in life are fought for and are usually not obtained through walking on the easy path.  Prioritizing can cause you to do things that are uncomfortable and can be very painful, but it is necessary if we are to move forward. Prioritizing helps you to define reality. We can’t do anything and be effective unless we have the clear honest picture of reality. 

Choosing one aspect from another is crucial. Not all things are of necessity. We must learn to prioritize and undertake the most important matters in our lives. Priorities play a major role in our lives. We all have good intentions, at least most of the time. But what really counts is executing an intention at the appropriate moment, thus doing the right thing at the right time.

Rearrange your priorities before it's too late!  If you put first things first, God will always take care of your needs. This doesn't mean you should neglect your part and stop taking care of your household. It simply means that you are to put first things first.

The biggest questions to ask are: What are your priorities in life? Have you ever spent much time thinking about what you should spend your time on? Most people have not. They just go from day to day doing whatever they want and whatever they feel like doing, without ever really asking themselves what they should be doing. Whether you have set goals or not, it's not too late to get moving on them. Ask yourself, what things are most important for you to do this year? Take a bit more time to actually work on these goals past the first couple of months of the year and not giving up when you don't see immediate results.

Make the thing you have chosen to do the number one priority while you’re doing it.  Focus with your full attention.  See the value in where you are, while you’re there.  Enjoy what’s happening, while it’s happening. Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least. The most important thing in life is knowing what the most important things in life are, and prioritizing them accordingly.  Sadly, most of us spend too much time on urgent things and not enough time on important things. Don’t allow others to confuse you.  Don’t let them convince your heart what is right for you.  Your heart already knows.  Listen to it.  Don’t let anyone else dilute the power of your inner voice.  You’ve got to stand up for something specific, on your own two legs, or you will achieve nothing worthwhile in your own mind’s eye.

Choosing the right perspective is so important; you can see life’s challenges as opportunities.  When an unexpected obstacle is suddenly standing in your way, don’t get overwhelmed.  Take a breather and regroup.  Someone else nearby knows how to get around it.  Find and engage them. Every single one of us craves the feeling of being part of something bigger than ourselves.

Focus on your priorities, but take things in stride.  Make decisions, not excuses.  Live one moment at a time.  Count your blessings, not your troubles.  Let the wrong things go.  Look for lessons in unforeseen obstacles.  Ask for help.  Give as much as you take.  Make time for those who matter.  Laugh when you can.  Cry when you need to.  And always stay true to your values.

When you set priorities, ensure you stick to them and do not deviate. At the end you will have achieved what you desired in your life. The question is: Do you set priorities in your life? We need to learn our priorities. If you are not prioritizing, then you are not thinking ahead of where you currently are and this means that you also probably don’t have a handle on where you are in relation to your overall vision. 

SET YOUR PRIORITIES.

BE THE MAN IN 2019

2019 is here with us. You can do nothing about the year that ended but there is a lot that you can achieve in 2019. I am normally in lots of pain as I see men not taking their rightful positions in life. In the 80’s and 90’s there was a lot of emphasis on women and girl children empowerment. The man and the boy child were disadvantaged as they were not empowered on how to deal with an empowered woman and girl child. I am also in pain in seeing how grossly irresponsible the men are as they defile the girl children in their lust for sex. We need to respect our girls as future wives and mothers and not take advantage of them. There is a lot that the men can take care of this year. Let’s be responsible men in 2019.

In 2019 desire to have these characteristics:

1. BE THE LEADER. A man must be a leader in a relationship, in a marriage, in a family. There are no excuses. A woman doesn’t want to make the decisions for her man, she wants her man to lead. A man must take initiative. He’s a leader, not a follower, a servant, not a slave, a hero, not a coward. Every man needs to know his position. If you have sired children, take up the responsibility. You are the leader and you we born to lead. You should be the leader spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically and set the standards for others to follow.

2. BE THE PROVIDER. “Treat your woman like a queen and you will live like a king.” A real man will do whatever it takes to provide for his loved one. In finances, in basic needs, as well as what she desires. If a man can’t provide, he isn’t a man. A real man treats women with the utmost care, honor and respect. This is the joy of being a man. Make the difference in 2019. Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 1 Tim 5:8.

3. BE THE PROTECTOR. A real man will protect his spouse. He is willing to lay down his own life, needs and wants to protect the one he loves. A woman needs to feel secure, that she is safe with her man. She doesn’t have to second guess or have heart played with. Don’t toy with a woman’s mind, and be up front and clear with your intentions and direction of the relationship from the start. In other words be there for your wife and children. They value your presence. Do all that you can to protect your family in 2019.

4. BE THE COURAGEOUS MAN. Women love to be around courageous men who can face any issues that can arise. They will look upon you to see what you are going to do. Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them. Jos.1:6 Be a man of adventure, a man who is willing to take risks and do the impossible. Men were born to live a life of adventure and battles. Men were created to live. They are fearful of failure and imprisoned by their own thinking. They are people pleasers, who live for the approval of others in society. They are afraid of how others may reject them, if they choose to take the road less traveled.

5. BE A MAN INTEGRITY. In 2019 purpose to be a man of integrity; keep your word. Do things in the right way. Many men in our culture break promises, play with women’s hearts, and date girls as if it was a game. Words mean nothing if they are not backed up with action. Integrity is about doing what is right, whether people are watching or not. Words carry weight, and a woman knows when a man means what he says. So live by your words, live by action, be.

6. BE DECISIVE. Decisiveness simply means being the leader of your own life. Decisiveness is both a skill you can build and an internal state you can summon when you need it. Don’t procrastinate your decisions. Be firm and act in time.

7. BE RESPONSIBLE. When you are responsible, you don’t postpone a task because it makes you uncomfortable, or it is something you really don’t want to do. Live up to the promises you make, not just to others, but to yourself as well. Learn to manage your time in order to accomplish your goals but at the same time, don’t take on so much that you become overwhelmed. Take care of your commitments. Each step we take towards being responsible and productive helps to raise our self-esteem and our relationships with friends, family and co-workers improve ten-fold. Being responsible pays big dividends.

You can be the man you ought to be in 2019. Make responsible decisions and actions and stand firm for your family. Be there for your family and take the lead in being the man in 2019.

A Joyful, Frustrating or Overwhelming 2018

Jeremiah 29:11(ESV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare^[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

As the year 2018 was starting, most of us set ourselves New Year Resolutions which either have given us joy or frustrated us or we were overwhelmed by the achievements or disappointments that we got. There are some people who achieved all they planned and even exceeded their goals. As the year comes to an end a few facts must be noted:

1. 2018 will never come back again.

2. You cannot undo the successes and failures of 2018.

3. You can learn and readjust from your successes and failures.

4. You are not alone in this.

5. Reintroduce yourself in 2019 with lessons that you have learnt in 2018.

2018 brought much joy for the many that were able to achieve most of what they intended to do within the year. However, not everything was achieved. You can set yourself to be happy for achieving so much or you could be overwhelmed with the much achievements or frustrated with the little that you never achieved. It is all a matter of the heart.

We have many people that failed to take the necessary action to achieve their goals because of a sense of overwhelm. The goal appears to be too large and too difficult to achieve. They may have been lacking in some of the skills required to achieve the goal. When you're overwhelmed, it is easy to doubt your abilities. The key to setting these resolutions is setting them S.M.A.R.T.:

1. S-PECIFIC. Don’t set yourself general goals that you are even not sure off.

2. M-EASURABLE. Have a way of measuring progress.

3. A-TTAINABLE. There are certain short term goals that cannot be attained with the year.

4. R-EALISTIC. Don’t beat around the bush. Know exactly what you want to achieve.

5. T-IME BOUND. If it was only 2018 you are looking for, note what can attained within the year.

2018 had its own frustrations. Frustrations if not handled with care will hurt you. Overcome them by:

1. Facing them. When you’re frustrated facing that fact head on is the first step in handling your frustration well. Facing it will help you deal with the frustration directly, rather than taking out your bitterness elsewhere.

2. Changing what you can. Frustrations must be dealt with. We change what we can that’s causing, or has caused, the frustrations. There are always other new options in life. Never give up.

3. Accept and move forward. At this point, you’ve faced your frustrations and looked at ways to make changes in your life. Make up your mind to accept that that is how things are going to be. Feel empowered that you are deciding to maturely accept life as it is.

4. Narrow your vision. You will not be able to achieve all that you set to achieve. There are some that will overwhelm, some frustrate and some will bring joy to you.

The following may assist you to set resolutions that will not frustrate you the future.

1. FORGET YOUR PAST: You made it or you never made it. Move forward.

2. FOCUS ON YOUR PRIORITIES: This is a major area of concern. Many people pursue goals that are not theirs. Know what your priorities in your life are.

3. FUNCTION IN THE PRESENT: Assess your abilities to do what you must do. Do you have the resources and the skills needed? Where else can you get them? You must be involved.

You could be very disappointed with the year that was and almost give up. Can I encourage today. There is still hope for you in 2019. As long as God has given you the breath, the wealth and the health, there is still an open door for you to do all that you need to do. Learn from your failures, adjust according, set new goals and pursue them in 2019. Never give up.

2018 is coming to an end, we can only learn from it. As we enter 2019: Forget your Past, Focus your Priorities, and Function in the Present.