This week we experienced a shock at our Arrival Terminal at our main Airport in the country when one famous musician arrived in the country with his entire team. Soon there was a commotion at the airport as the same singer threw a kick at one of his women musicians. The matter went viral in the social media and within 24 hours of stepping into our country, the same musician was deported back to his country. He never accomplished his mission in this country. I asked the question why? Why would a man lay his hands to beat a woman? I believe we need to value our women more. It is important to set boundaries in our lives.
Boundaries are essential to healthy relationships and, really, a healthy life. Setting and sustaining boundaries is a skill. Unfortunately, it’s a skill that many of us don’t learn. Boundaries exist all over the place and we probably don’t even realize it. Boundaries are similar to rules or laws and are in place for a reason. Most of the time it’s to protect us. However often times people feel they don’t need to respect or follow them and that is when problems occur. They are to protect you so people can’t hurt you.
We try to teach kids about boundaries from the day they are born. We tell them things like you can’t go here or touch this or do that. As they get older I know we can extend the boundaries to wider areas, but that also goes along with them proving they are trustworthy to handle the larger boundaries. Most people have personal boundaries or a special distance that is a safe for them.
I believe in boundaries. In having a family I believe as a man and the leader of your family you need to establish strong, firm boundaries across the board. You will have to stand up to your family or friends, but once your married and start a family that is the time when you put them first and define those boundaries so that your wife and kids know they are the priority in your life and the reason we do the things we do is because you are important.
This is especially difficult for “YES” people. These types seem to be men who are always saying yes and want to please others. They have very difficult times saying no and establishing healthy safe boundaries. In their attempt to make others happy they forget about their own needs and overlook putting boundaries in place for themselves. This is a difficult place to be in, as people like this often get hurt and burnt out easily, yet I have seen them just continue to operate in the same patterns, but extremely frustrated with their life.
Part of lifestyle changes for me is holding firm and tight boundaries in all areas of my life. Maybe it’s because I am older and wiser, but I have seen so many damaging things occur to so many people across the board. This leads me to believe it’s extremely difficult for people to set firm boundaries out of fear of hurting someone’s feelings. For the sake of yourself, the best things you can do is put those boundaries in place, or pull back and enforce harder and firmer boundaries. As a result of doing this from my experience you feel safer and more comfortable in your own life. I believe everyone needs strong boundaries in place. Let the other person know this is now how things are going to be and let them deal with their feelings. It’s not up to you to worry about their feelings. It’s up to you to take care of yourself and feel safe and secure.
As a real authentic man the best thing you can do for your life is ensure you have strong firm boundaries in place that will protect yourself, your wife and kids. Putting those things in place in my life has helped me feel safe, as well as put my family first and establish with others I am not someone you mess with when it comes to boundaries.
Personal boundaries are the imaginary lines we draw around ourselves to maintain balance and protect our bodies, minds, emotions, and time from the behaviour or demands of others. They provide the framework to keep us from being used or manipulated by others, and they allow us to confidently express who we are and what we want in life.
Personal boundaries allow us to be in the driver’s seat of our own lives.
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