MEN ISSUES AT THIS POINT IN TIME

There are main challenges for men in modern society. I’d like to outline what I believe to be important issues for men at this point in time.

I believe that it’s crucial for us men to start defining our own issues and to find our own voice. Currently, there is no political movement that discusses men’s issues and the men have been squeezed right left without any inputs from the society. The women have many organizations that speak on their behalf and the current Kenya Constitution has given women a greater opportunity at the expense of men. There are many organizations that are funding women programs but very few are funding men programs. It is assumed that the man can face consequences on his own but the woman has to be protected.

Man’s role in the society has changed. We have very many women that are living in our society that don’t need men. The only advantage they see of men is siring. I have been very concerned that the man has accepted this role without knowing that there are many consequences of having fatherless children in our society. Men have run away from their responsibilities.

I have also noted even for the married couples, men’s role have sometimes been interchanged with women’s role. These are bringing a lot of challenges to the men particularly when the man’s ego is affected and that is very unsatisfactory in my opinion. Feminism is primarily a women’s liberation movement which addresses women issues and there has been efforts to diminish man’s position in the society and the purpose God placed man as the authority over woman and the creation at large and as such it does not authentically focus on men’s issues.

On a personal and political level alike, it is high time to put the spotlight on the challenges facing men, and it is our own responsibility as men to make that happen - we cannot expect anybody else to do it for us.

So let’s have a look at some important issues that need our attention:

1. The male gender role. As men, we are generally only valued when we perform. There’s nothing that society despises more than a man who doesn’t provide for his family, or a homeless man. The male gender role is also very constricted when it comes to everyday life

2. Fatherhood. The traditional father was a provider, and family courts still treat fathers in that way. How can we upgrade the role of the father to mean more than providing? I’m thinking that the father can be an important male role model, as well as give the children a sense of direction in life. And if we dare to think really big, then we may go as far as starting to care about the father’s emotional life. Just like we care about a mother’s right to be close to her children, we can start caring about a father’s right to be involved in his children’s lives.

3. Male friendships. Men have smaller social networks and fewer friends than women. In my opinion an important reason for this is that men are culturally and biologically programmed to compete against each other in the workplace (and we are programmed to spend most of our time at work). If we can start valuing our lives outside of work, as well as let go of some of the competition at work, then it will probably be easier for men to start bonding.

4. Male political issues. As men we desperately need to find a language to describe our own experience. Women are able to find a language to articulate their own experience. Even though it may go against what’s expected of us, it’s important that we dare admit that the male gender role has real issues, and that we’re not happy with the status quo.

5. Emotional literacy. How can this be developed in men? Biologically speaking we may have a somewhat harder time to become emotionally literate, and culturally speaking we are certainly not encouraged to pursue emotional development. Nevertheless, we will never be masters of our own lives unless we become emotionally literate and able to hold our own in a relationship with a woman (or a man, if that’s our preference).

6. Romantic relationships. Many men still feel that they have to prove themselves to women, and that they should somehow feel lucky if a woman wants them. In my opinion, such a stance can only lead to bitterness and resentment in a man, since you are basically putting a low value on yourself and handing over all power to the woman. As men, we need to let go of the cultural programming that tells us that women are more pure and therefore better than us.

We need to be aware that God had a good reason of creating man first. There is a common saying that says;” ladies first but men ahead”. We have a responsibility to God and our society to lead no matter the circumstances. There are few role models for men. Most of our youth are however associating themselves with celebrities and seeing them as their role models.

Men! Where are you? Can we take our rightful position, understand who we are, what is expected of us, learn what God wants with us and let us take the lead.