Stop the process of turning your boys into ‘older boys’ instead of being men; these ‘older boys’ never mature to a place of living as men. We have boys who have no clue what it means to be a man.
Much has been said and written in recent years about the challenges of men and boys. A common theme is that men and boys have become increasingly confused about their identity and role in society. Many young men have taken the adverse cues of society as an excuse to evade responsibility and never really grow up.
Men step down if they’re not needed. And because of society’s message that men are no longer needed, many are staying in their parents homes. Men ought to go out of their way and take on challenges and responsibility. This is the very thing they should do if they want to thrive. Indeed, it is becoming common knowledge that perception is followed by physical experience in the form of self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe you will succeed, you often do.
If you set your sights high in life, you will achieve incredible things. In order to do this, you can no longer play the victim to circumstances. Blaming the world, your parents, school, or the challenges you’ve faced in life is not going to solve your problems. Instead, take the time to imagine and mentally create your ideal life. Mental creation always precedes physical creation. Men have the inner power to create whatever life you want to achieve. All you have to do is spend the time creating that world with intention. Write down exactly what you want in life. Set your high standards. Don’t hold anything back.
Assist the boys to see themselves as men in the future. God has instructed us as their fathers to teach them in light of the culture we live in. We need to:-
1. Teach them about God.
It is your major responsibility as a father to teach your boys. Teach your boys to begin to learn about God by showing them who He is with ease. Easy to understand concepts help build a picture in their minds about who He is. Read the Bible with them every day.
2. Teach them to work hard.
God created work for men. Teach them to work around the house. Teach them the value of work and that nothing comes easily. One has to invest in hard work.
2 Thessalonians 3:10(NIV) For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.”
Men ought to work and provide for the needs of their families and not to be dependent on others. They should lead by example.
3. Teach them the effects of bad influence.
Boys learn from each other. The power of influence is so high. The boys will be either affected by their peers or the society. They need to learn from you the positive and negative effects on their future lives. I have many people I know who lost it at that stage and it affected their lives completely.
4. Teach them to obey.
Boys must be taught the value of obedience. This is consistent throughout scripture. We want to teach them early how when they choose to disobey, there are consequences. Teach them to build a culture of obedience to God and the Scriptures, their parents, older people, authorities in society and country. The value of obedience would be helpful to them later in life.
5. Teach them to lead.
Teach them to lead by taking responsibility; a leading that is motivated by serving. You know how little boys try to whine because they are trying to explain why they made the poor choices they made. Instil in them responsibility and that choices have consequences. Teach them to own up to their mistakes and to offer their strength to others.
6. Teach them to love.
Love is paramount to people. People feel honoured when they are loved and feel disgraced when they are not. The best comes out of people who are loved. The father must set the stage by showing love to their mother, his children and the community. He MUST MODEL LOVE. The boys would want to imitate their father.
7. Teach them about changes taking place within their bodies
These changes must come but they must learn to control them. Teach them how to handle them so that they don’t become fathers before the due time. Many young people mess up here and they don’t know how to handle the mess they are in. They require our support.
Be their Mentor!
The other day I talked to a young man aged 22 years who has been brought up by his mother. There are many challenges he is facing and he told me he wished he had a dad to mentor him. Let them learn from you. If you think mentoring is too hard, the cost of not mentoring them is very, very high. If you have no hope, then you have no vision or purpose. Mentoring will be the tool to inspire and instill the precepts and character that would useful to the boys later in life.
Be there for your boys
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