SEXUAL INTIMACY

Sex is beautiful, sex is holy and God talks about sex.

It is described in the Bible and that the Bible has a lot to say about sex. Sex was created by God and not the devil. Sex has been so misused and perverted by the devil and the world that, the impression has been created that sex is ugly and sinful. On the contrary, sex is God’s wonderful creation. When practiced within the confines of God’s will, sex can only lead to more joy and peace in marriage.

Sexual intercourse can be very pleasurable and enjoyable to both men and women. However, it is an art that must be learnt and developed. Sex is not about scoring 10 out of 10 to your performance, it is about having fun with your spouse and showing care.

To achieve good sex, you should first have a loving and comfortable relationship. In an atmosphere of love and trust, you are free to shed all your inhibitions and open up completely to your spouse emotionally. Sex enhances love between husband and wife. It brings couples close together. Most hard feelings melt during and after sex.

Why commit fornication when you can commit love?

Regular sex is a priviledge to born again Christian couple. It is Go’s gift to your marriage, from the day you marry till your old age. Make use of this gift well.

Reasons for Sex

1. Pleasure
2. Duty
3. Reproduction
4. A way of staying close together as a couple.
5. Regular sex prevents adultery
6. A way of expressing love to your wife or husband.
7. Sex can be a happy ending to some quarrels.
8. Sex can be a way of releasing tension. 

Sexual life of a couple is a thermometer of their relationship and love. The biggest sex organ is the mind.

Romantic behaviour such as kissing, petting, fondling is not meant for sinful boyfriend and girlfriend relationships but for properly married couples. Couples are encouraged to behave romantically.

BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES ON SEX

1. Principle of humility in sex 

Deuteronomy 22:29

“…then the man who lay with her shall give to the young woman's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife because he has humbled her; he shall not be permitted to divorce her all his days”.(NKJV)

It is important for both the man and the woman to be humble in order to have sexual happiness in marriage. It takes humility to be naked or to bare your private parts and to be in certain positions for sex.

2. Principle of staying together to discover each other.

Deuteronomy 24:5

"When a man has taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war or be charged with any business; he shall be free at home one year, and bring happiness to his wife whom he has taken.(NKJV)

Spend the first night together in a place where you can have maximum privacy. Discover each other.

3. Principle of drinking from your own cistern 

Proverbs 5:15

Drink water from your own cistern, And running water from your own well.(NKJV)

A man must make a conscious effort to be continually satisfied with his wife. This applies to the woman as well.

4. Principle of sex likened to drinking water.

Proverbs 5:15

Drink water from your own cistern, And running water from your own well.(NKJV)

Having sex is likened to drinking water, which is a natural process that is done often and on reflex. How often do you drink water?

5. Principle of the blessed fountain

Proverbs 5:16-17

Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? Let them be only your own, And not for strangers with you.(NKJV)

The fountain is likened to an ejaculating penis or vice versa. A fountain is only blessed when it is flowing with water and that is the same with the penis. One must have sex often and regularly to keep the fountain blessed and the marriage blessed. The fountain is for the home and not for strangers.

6. Principle of satisfying breasts

Proverbs 5:19

As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love.(NKJV)

The husband should be satisfied with his wife’s breasts. In much the same way, her lips, buttocks, thighs, clitoris and vagina must satisfy you. Let all these be a joy to you because they are a gift of God. Have sex with her as often as possible. She is for enjoyment and satisfaction. Your wife’s breasts are beautiful. Take time to look at them, play with them and enjoy them.

7. Principle of satisfaction at all times

Proverbs 5:19

As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love.(NKJV)

You must satisfy each other at all times. This means any time, any where.

8. Principle of being ravished with your spouse

Proverbs 5:19

As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love.(NKJV)

You must make a conscious effort to admire the different parts of your spouse’s body and beauty. Stand and gaze at each other; be overwhelmed with the beauty of your partner.

9. Principle of the importance of kissing

Song of Solomon 1:2

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth-- For your love is better than wine.(NKJV)

Kissing is an important part of intimacy between a couple. It is a way in which a couple can be intimate without going all the way to make love all the time. It is an important form of contact and it is encouraged in marriage. Kissing while making love is exciting.

NB

The practice of kissing can easily and gradually fade out of marriage. A couple must be aware of this. Make it a point to greet each other at home with a long mouth to mouth kiss. Outside the home, a shorter mouth to mouth peck will do.

10. Principle of having confidence with oneself.

Song of Solomon 1:5-6

I am dark, but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, Like the tents of Kedar, Like the curtains of Solomon. Do not look upon me, because I am dark, Because the sun has tanned me. My mother's sons were angry with me; They made me the keeper of the vineyards, But my own vineyard I have not kept.(NKJV)

Confidence is very important in any relationship. You have to have confidence in yourself. You are nice, you are comely, fearfully and wonderfully made. You may be black or fair but you are beautiful and comely. You may have big or small breasts, but you are beautiful, comely and UNIQUE.

You must have the confidence in your ability to have sex as you learn to do it better. Avoid shattering your spouse confidence by refraining from making derogatory statements about the breasts, hips, size of genitals, stomach, legs, spots and scars.

11. Principle  of enhancing your beauty with jewellery

Song of Solomon 1:10-11

Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments, Your neck with chains of gold. We will make you ornaments of gold With studs of silver.(NKJV)

Jewellery makes one more beautiful. Learn to wear jewellery, even at home.

12. Principle of arousing love.

Song of Solomon 2:7

I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, By the gazelles or by the does of the field, Do not stir up nor awaken love Until it pleases.(NKJV)

Love can be stirred up by speaking nicely to each other, treating each other nicely and surprising each other with nice little things. When you have something nice to say to your spouse, don’t keep it, speak up. Say ‘sorry’ and ‘thank you’ when you have to and say ‘ I love you ‘ always.