The Man at Home

Man is very important in the home.  Though the role of man in the home has greatly being challenged, it is important to state that man has to play his role well, failure to which, he will become irrelevant in society. Good also to note that where men have disappeared in their homes, there has been enormous challenges on the part of the women as they take over both the role of the mother and father. The children missing an important part of a male figure in their lives. This week, I handled one of the most difficult counseling in my life. the man has run away from his roles and ran away from home  and the wife is not at all willing to be reconciled to this man and the man likewise does not want to be reconciled. The children are now suffering as a result.

SO WHY THE MAN AT HOME?

1. Husband/Father in the Home

One of the many important roles of the man is to be the head of the home.

Ephesians 5:22-25
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,(NKJV)

To do that properly, he is responsible to lead and guide the family.

2. To Love the Spouse and the Children

Leadership is by love and not by coercion. The husband / father is to lead by example and to demonstrate genuine care and concern for the family, the response will be obedience and support and harmony in the home (

Colossians 3:18-21
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.(NKJV).

That is the reason why Paul said, “ye fathers, provoke not your children.” Often times, excessive nagging and harshness provoke negative reaction which destroys good parent-child relationship.

3. To Lead in Family Worship and Study of the Word

A Christ-centered home should be characterized by consistent reverential worship and prayer, and the reading of the Word. One important landmark of the Christian home is family worship. It is to be led by the husband / father (or sometimes, if he is away, the mother / wife as well), which include a reading and exposition of a relevant portion of the Scripture, sharing, praise and prayer.

Job 1:5
So it was, when the days of feasting had run their course, that Job would send and sanctify them, and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, "It may be that my sons have sinned and cursed God in their hearts." Thus Job did regularly.(NKJV)

4. Making Major Decisions in the Home

The head of the home is to be responsible for the direction and well-being of its members. Making decision is his prerogative and his obligation. Of course, some day to day operational matters, like where to eat, what to buy for lunch, can be discussed and decided together. But major decisions, like the choice of school for the child, change of job, house, whether to emigrate or not, buying of a costly item, like car, computer (whether to have Internet and how to regulate it), shall not be relegated to the wife or children. There can be discussions and sharing of ideas. If there are disagreements, the head of the family will have the final say in all important decisions of the house. Fervent prayer and humble seeking of God’s will and patient waiting upon the Lord are necessary often times

Ephesians 5:17
Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.(NKJV)

5. Discipline of the Children

It is commonly heard among Christian families that the mother is the disciplinarian and the father does it once in a while. This is not the proper order of things. Both father and mother are to discipline together and the father must be the chief disciplinarian in the home. Children have a tendency to fear and respect the authoritative figure of the house. We must not shrink from the grave and sober responsibility of admonishing, correcting and punishing our children in the fear and nurture of the Lord.

Hebrews 12:6-11
For whom the LORD loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives." If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.(NKJV)

There should be a consensus on how to bring up children and not a conflict between father and mother in front of the children. Inconsistency destroys the effectiveness of good child rearing. Pray for wisdom, diligence and patience in these crucial matters.

Finally

The role of man is a leadership one, that is, to be exemplary and God-fearing. It is to be exercised in love and with a good and caring disposition in both the church and the home. Often ladies have to take over when the man relegated his responsibilities to them. If men fail to lead, then we have really failed miserably. But ladies are to pray and submit, support their husbands in their spiritual and familial duties as well. We need to be accountable to God,  

2 Corinthians 5:10
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.(NKJV)

and fulfill God-given roles with the strength and wisdom He provides, relying on Him for guidance and direction always. Above all, remember Psalm 127:1 which says,
Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guards the city, The watchman stays awake in vain.(NKJV)