Peer and societal pressure have contributed to men doing what they had not ever planned to do. Most men would be under so much pressure from their peers to do things that they will later regret about. The question is: Must you do what others are doing or you can be self-control yourself?
The other day I was speaking to a young man who indulged in sex at a very early age. He was open enough to tell me that he regretted what he did. He was not in control himself. There are very many other people that have burnt their fingers in similar circumstances. Can we in control of what we plan and do? Yes we can.
Galatians 5:16-17; I say then, walk by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit desires what is against the flesh; these are opposed to each other, so that you don't do what you want.(HCSB)
When the fruit of self-control is not evident in our lives, we’re vulnerable to all kinds of relational ruptures. When the Spirit controls us, we will demonstrate restraint in our lives.
Galatians 5:22-23; But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.(HCSB)
What is Self-control?
This characteristic focuses more on me instead of on my relationships with other people. I can exercise self-control when I’m the only person in the house. In fact, sometimes the hidden, private moment when no one else is looking is precisely when I need self-control the most.
However, if we properly exercise self-control, it will benefit those around us. In some ways, we might consider this virtue the most important because without self-control the works of the flesh cannot be overcome. Aristotle once said, “I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is the victory over self.” Self-control comes from the word “strength” and means, “one who holds himself in.” To be self-controlled is to not live in bondage to the desires, passions and appetites of the flesh. My body is a good servant but a miserable master.
Have you ever considered taking a Self-control Inventory?
Are you struggling with self-control in any of these areas that are addressed in the Book of Proverbs?
• Uncontrolled lust. Proverbs 6:26; For a prostitute's fee is only a loaf of bread, but an adulteress goes after [your] very life.(HCSB)
• Uncontrolled spending. Proverbs 21:20; Precious treasure and oil are in the dwelling of the wise, but a foolish man consumes them.(HCSB)
• Uncontrolled ambition. Proverbs 23:4; Don't wear yourself out to get rich; stop giving your attention to it.(HCSB)
• Uncontrolled drinking. Proverbs 23:29-30; Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has conflicts? Who has complaints? Who has wounds for no reason? Who has red eyes? Those who linger over wine, those who go looking for mixed wine.(HCSB)
• Uncontrolled anger. Proverbs 29:11; A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man holds it in check.(HCSB)
Is it possible to display self-control in our self-centered and self-seeking culture? Most all of us need it and want it, but some of us may feel like there’s no hope. Perhaps you’ve tried to control these areas before but have struck out so many times that you just feel like giving up.
With that in mind, it’s no surprise to find in Paul’s brief letter to Titus numerous admonitions on self-control. Instead of acting crazy with no restraint at all, Paul challenges people to “be in their right minds” by being controlled by the Spirit of God.
1. Titus 1:8; but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, righteous, holy, self-controlled,(HCSB)
2. Titus 2:1; But you must speak what is consistent with sound teaching.(HCSB). Titus is to teach the older men to be self-controlled.
3. Titus 2:2; Older men are to be self-controlled, worthy of respect, sensible, and sound in faith, love, and endurance.(HCSB)
4. Titus 2:4; so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and children,(HCSB)
5. Titus 2:6; Likewise, encourage the young men to be sensible. (HCSB) Titus is to be an example to young men and to encourage them to be self-controlled.
Ways that we can both say “no” to that which is destructive and say, “yes” to what is helpful.
1. Admit you have a problem with self-control.
2. Yield to the lordship of Christ.
3. Cultivate the disciplines of Bible reading and prayer.
4. Invest in spiritual friendships.
5. Curtail bad influences. Avoid those things that tempt us. 1 Corinthians 15:33; Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals."(HCSB)
6. Practice good habits.
7. Welcome gracious correction.
Finally
Let’s face it. We’ve been created with a multitude of moods, passions, and desires. They all need managing. They must be under control or they will end up controlling us. Friends, there is no way we can develop self-control on our own. There are more than enough people pulling us back into unrestrained living. The good news is that you don’t have to give in to them, or into your own desires. As you submit and surrender to the Spirit’s control, you can experience freedom and power that you’ve not seen before.
Yes we can avoid peer and social pressures in our lives. You can be in control but only if you allow God to be on your side.
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