There are no perfect dads. We all say and do things that we later regret. But as committed dads, we should be very aware that our words and actions are being heard and watched. We’re always “on stage,” and that awareness should add extra motivation to speak and act responsibly, or even in a way that encourages and breathes life into those around us.
Each of us should be challenged regularly by these simple questions:
ü What kind of example am I setting? My son is watching, and he needs to know what he should aspire to become.
ü How does a “real man” act? My daughter is watching, because she needs to know what to expect from men.
ü My child’s friends, teammates, and classmates—some of whom don’t have a father at home—are also watching. What lessons about fathering am I teaching them?
And it goes deeper than that. During these uncertain times, our kids are tuning in to everything that’s happening—and they’re watching how we respond. They need stability and security, and dads, our modeling set the tone.
Change is an ever-present part of life. How we fathers handle the changes of life can be a big part of our modeling for our children. So do we run from change? Do we resist change and let it frustrate and anger us? Or do we view it with optimism and hope? Every child is trying to make sense of this strange world. They’re seeking reference points to chart their discoveries, and the most significant reference points are their parents—their dads in particular. They’re asking, “How should I handle victories or defeats?” “How should I respond to uncertainties or potentially huge changes?”
Dad, how you behave—your calm, consistent, respectful example—will help your children answer those questions in a positive way and build a sound value system for future changes. Positive modeling involves your actions, your emotions, and your attitudes.
Your modeling extends into every part of your life, if you think about it. What promises have you made to your children? Ask them if you don’t remember, then make sure you follow through. Use examples around you to talk with them about reliable and unreliable reference points for our personal and civic behavior. Our example is a great way to equip them with a healthy attitude toward life, changes and all. For the sake of our children and other kids in our spheres of influence, we need to model healthy, genuine manhood.
You have to be a Great Dad
Being a great dad doesn't have to be difficult. We have five things you can do today:
ü Love your children by touching them gently and speaking to them softly. There is nothing so powerful as a dad’s touch. A soft and gentle touch - a hug, a kiss on the head - can make a child feel safe and secure.
ü Laugh with your children. Allow your children to find the joy in life that comes with innocence. Then laugh with your children in these moments and find the deepest joy that is known in the heart of a parent.
ü Look at your children and call out their best. Be your kid's biggest fan. Your children are waiting for you to call out their best. They are waiting for you to give them praise and affirmation. Call out what they did right in their choices and actions. Call out what you like best about them. Call out the fact that you love them deeply.
ü Listen to what your children are saying and to what they are not saying. Spend time listening to your children talk about their day. Ask them questions and listen to what they are not saying. Listening will only take a few minutes, but the impact will last a lifetime.
ü Leave a legacy by giving your children a memory. Make a plan to do something simple but something that your children can always remember.
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