Husbands Must Be…………

Being a man and a husband is a high calling, and should be treated as such. It is a wonderful role with many benefits and joys that go along with it. But being a husband also comes with a lot of responsibilities. Apart from being a husband, you may become a father too. It takes a character that is built over time and that has been molded by God. Husbands must take up their rightful roles as husbands. They must be there for their wives and families. At the same time they must be in the process of continual improvement in order to successful in their responsibilities and expectations that God has placed on husbands.

1. Husbands must be thinkers and visionary

The wives look upon their husbands. The husbands must be quick thinkers and set the road for the future. They must be visionaries asking themselves where they are taking their families to. This is one of the greatest challenges that husbands must take up.

2. Husbands must be stewards

When takes a wife, he must be ready for the same. The woman leaves her relatives to come and spend the rest of her life with the husband. The most important person to the wife is the husband. The husband then must be a good steward of this woman. Unfortunately these days, some husbands have failed in their roles of stewardship. Most wives are complaining of irresponsible husbands.

Stewardship is the quality of one’s maturity and character, and how that maturity and character are acted out on a daily basis. One of the most common complaints wives have of their husbands is that they are not consistent with their roles and responsibilities within their marriage.

Stewardship means faithfully handling all that is within the marriage relationship. As husbands, God has given us a wife, children, money, time, possessions, and many more things that we are to steward faithfully.

3. Husbands must be accountable

Husbands must be accountable to God, their wives and the children. They cannot handle matters in their own way. Men are single, and then they marry and then have children. The children and the wives are all because of you. You have to play your rightful role. Be accountable to them in terms of time, money, resources, etc. You cannot behave as though they do not exist.

They must be accountable to the society too. We are having very many men who are very irresponsible in the society. Wives in one of our small towns in Kenya, had to take the law into their hands recently as they broke into some bars that sell beer to their husbands. There is a big cry in our society because men have behaved irresponsibly forcing their wives in certain instances to beat up their husbands and most recently, two men had their male organs chopped off by irate wives.

4. Husbands must love

They must love their wives and the children. They must be given totally to the families. Loving their wives is not necessarily referring to romantic feelings, or sex, or physical attraction, which are often thought of as synonymous with love. These often make up what people refer to as being “in love.” They are all wonderful things to have in a marriage, but none of them are unconditional.

Ephesians 5:25; ‘Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her’, (NKJV) 

Love has no ulterior motive, nor is it a feeling. It is always thinking of the other person, which in this case is the wife. Love your wife with the whole heart.

5. Husbands must provide leadership

The husband is the leader in the marriage relationship. A husband’s leadership is very different from worldly leadership. This is primarily because a husband is a servant-leader.

Matthew 20:26-28

Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave-- just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." (NKJV) “

This service oriented type of leadership that husbands are to display should be sacrificial in nature, and includes the ability to be decisive and to take action when needed. The primary purpose of a husband’s leadership should be to guide his family in righteousness and in all ways as to give guidance, direction and vision in the home.

6. Husbands must serve

Service is humbly putting your wife’s needs before your own, consistently prioritizing her in the marriage relationship. A Godly husband is praying regularly for the ability to put aside his natural pride, and focusing on providing for the needs of his wife. A husband must go an extra mile for the sake of first his wife and then the children. He cannot sit down. He must serve whole heartedly.

A husband should seek to have the mindset of Christ, that is, a focus on others without a desire for recognition or approval. Christ was always seeking to glorify God by selflessly serving others with no thought of his own needs. This is the mindset that a husband should strive to have toward his wife.

7. Husbands must be effective in communication

Most marriages have problems because of effective communication skills. Most people talk and are not willing to listen. Every husband has to be effective in his communication and particularly to his wife. This is a critical element, as poor communication is one of the biggest obstacles to a good marriage. The quality of a couple’s marriage is only as good as their ability to send and receive the correct message.

Colossians 4:6; ‘Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one’. (NKJV)

There are many components that make up good communication, both on the giving and the receiving end. However, I have found that husbands may tend to struggle in particular on the receiving end. We don’t listen well. Listening is an important part of communication, and a husband endeavoring to develop good communication within their marriage should develop the ability to concentrate on what their wife is saying, refrain from interrupting, and carefully consider everything that is said.

Finally

It is a greater honour to be called a husband. Most women talk well of their husbands more than the husbands talk about their wives. I have heard women who say: ‘My husband……..My husband…………’ Then as husbands, we have to do all that pertains to being husbands. Be the husband and again be the husband.