Fathers Must Be ……..

We are living in times that are difficult and confusing, Men who are supposed to play their rightful roles are disappearing. We have sons and daughters who don’t know their fathers. It is not their mistake and I don’t blame at all their mothers, I congratulate all the mothers that are bringing up their children single handed. What happened? Where are the fathers? Even where the fathers are present, why are we having many issues raising up our children?

It's interesting that in Ephesians 6 Paul says, "Children, obey your parents."And then it gets to fathers and says, "Fathers, bring your children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

Fathers bear a unique responsibility. Fathers are given a unique responsibility in the marriage to lead, protect and provide for a wife, those three things. And the children are watching this, and they know that a special role is given to dad.

And when it comes to discipline of the children, the way that this uniqueness comes out is that father assumes the buck stopping. The father must discipline and lead. There is a unique role for fathers, and yet the teamwork is essential.

Fathers must be:

1. Protectors - This role encompasses our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual protection. As children we particularly need protection, and we need to have our values, purities, and our honor protected into adulthood. A father not only protects his children from harm, but protects their hearts and minds as well. You must protect your children from all that may harm them or defile them.

2. Providers - This is perhaps one of our more instinctual roles of a father. A father initially provides necessities. He also creates an environment for growth through love and encouragement. We look to our fathers to provide for us what we may not be able to provide for ourselves while teaching us how to eventually become independent.

You cannot run away from your main responsibility. This is your seed and must be watered and necessary nutrients provided for. It needs to grow well to maturity. Until children reach adulthood, it is the responsibility of the parents to provide for them.

2 Thessalonians 3:3 But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one.(NIV)

Genesis 22:14 So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, "On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided."(NIV)

3. Counselors - A father is a guide. He directs his children toward the path in life that promises to fit them best. A father who has his child's best interest in mind will gain the trust of his child as a counselor. He must sit down with his children and have open discussions with each of them. Check how each is doing and provide the necessary counsel needed. He should not leave this to the mother. This is one of his main roles as a father. Children look up to him for this asking the question: ‘What will my daddy think of what I have done, etc?’

4. Friend - It is said that a child learns how to interact with others on the lap of a father. We seek a sort of friendship with our father that teaches us what friendship is. A healthy friendship with a father gives us boundaries and helps us understand what is safe and what is not.

John 15:15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.(NIV)

You cannot be harsh to your children and expect to be a friend to them. Friendship is to be cultivated right from the beginning.

5. Models- If your father failed to give you a good model, then you will have to work hard to compensate for that poor modeling as you raise your own children. We tend to do what we've seen modeled. Fathers must be models to their children. Children look up to their fathers and will quote them in the future to other people. All fathers must be provide modeling in all areas of life, right from home and even in society. If you are a wife beater for example, your boys will grow up knowing that women must be beaten.

6. Leaders- One important component in the society and homes is the leadership ability. Fathers must provide leadership in the homes. They are the heads. When we fail to provide leadership, we are failing in our main role. John Maxwell says: ‘Everything rises and falls on the leader.’ You are the leader at home. Do all that you can to provide leadership in the family.

7. Visionaries- Where are you taking your family? What vision do you have for yourself and for your family? Fathers must be visionaries. They must have short term and long term goals set for themselves and their families. They must have the big picture. Your vision becomes your driving force. This is what will inspire you to move forward. You cannot be seated and expect results. You must plan to achieve your vision.

As men and fathers, we have a big role to play in the society and at home. Do your part and I do mine and I believe we can bring change in our society. The boy child feels neglected. I believe we can restore and empower the boy child. Rise from your slumber and act now.