UNDERSTANDING MEN AND EMOTIONS

Do we understand ourselves? This is a big question that every man ought to answer. Understanding men is easy, some would argue: you just have to know what men want, that’s all. Why do so many men feel confused about themselves, then? Why is it that most men couldn’t tell you what they want or who they are?

Our emotional state often dictates how we behave. Men and women may handle emotions in quite different ways. When upset, women are more likely to express their feelings directly, and to seek the support of friends and family, whereas men might hide their emotions or withdraw. Men often feel that they need to be self-reliant. They are sometimes focused on providing for their loved ones and hide their own emotions.

God has created us with a physical body. We are at the same time spiritual beings who also have to socialize with others. Finally we are emotional beings. It is important to comprehend the importance of emotions in our lives and the effect of the same in men. Emotions imply a state of being stirred up or aroused in one way or another. Emotions involve things that disturb or excite us. First of all, we must understand that God designed us with emotions. Our emotions are designed by God to enable us to enjoy our relationship with Him and others. The problem comes when we have emotions that cripple us and destroy us. God has given us a way of handling our emotions so that they do not cripple or destroy us.

Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self- control. Pr.25:28

We are creatures of emotions. Without them we cease to be human. Emotions are words beyond words. Emotions are God-given.

Boys are taught not to cry, to be strong. Crying and displaying emotions are the domain of girls. By the time men grow into adolescence, they are often no longer capable of truly expressing the full range of their emotions. When they reach their twenties and thirties, some ‘real men’ are no longer in touch with their emotions, their feelings at all. A man needs access to his full range of emotions to live a balanced life, a life of purpose.

Emotions are important to optimal life functioning, but many men in our society tend to be at a disadvantage when it comes to recognizing, understanding and managing them. Fortunately, it is possible to increase one's understanding of emotions and learn to manage them more effectively. Emotions provide important information about one's self, others, and the environment. The ability to identify, understand, use and manage emotions has been called emotional intelligence. 

Emotions can be very powerful – even overwhelming.  Sometimes our emotions are so overwhelming or so “unacceptable” that we need to protect ourselves from them.  This can be a positive thing in moderation.
Benefits of Emotions

• Emotions help us to feel and empathize with others.
• Emotions help us to understand how others are feeling or what they are going through.
• Emotions help us to know when something is wrong or needs changing.
• Emotions help us to communicate our needs to others.
• Emotions help us to express ourselves without the need of limiting words.
• Emotions help us to know what is truly in our hearts at any given moment.

Emotions will influence our behaviour but it should not become the determining factor that dictates or governs our lives. This is especially true if we react negatively or adversely from an emotional reaction. An emotion is a dynamic internal adjustment that can operate for the satisfaction, protection and welfare of the individual, when it is in control. When it is out of control, it can be used of Satan to control the individual. Do not hold in the emotions and feelings which may grow and change into stress, bitterness, hatred, or cause a nervous breakdown. Share them openly wisely honestly, the best way possible. We have to get our emotions off our chest, but have self- control at all times. Women beat us in this area. They open up themselves and pour out their feelings while the men mostly hold these feelings in themselves.

Men must exercise self-control, less their emotions become detrimental to them. Emotions may be either useful or harmful. They may serve the purpose of a smooth adjustment and problem solving, but they may also interfere with these purposes. Emotional development takes place through maturing and learning. Many men never voice their concerns and thoughts, but keep everything bottled up inside. Others are overly aggressive to the degree that their wives and others are afraid of them.

Emotions always manifest somewhere in the body. Anger might be experienced as a flush of heat in the face, sadness as a tightening of the throat, anxiety as a knot in the stomach. Take a moment to acknowledge the feelings and take a few breaths to help identify these sensations and understand what they mean.

Emotions are the most powerful forces inside us. Under the power of emotions, men can perform the most heroic and barbaric acts. Emotions are fuel and the mind is the pilot, which together propel the destiny of men.

Understand that it feels unusual, if not unnatural, to express emotion, and make it clear that they will not be judged, punished or ridiculed for expressing what he has inside. Most women struggle with this. They blame the men for how they express their emotions.